How to Turn Rejection into Self-Reflection
By Grace Grossmann
Rejection in any shape or form sucks. Rejection from jobs, friends or family members are naturally taken to heart; it’s hard not to. Feelings of inferiority arise and we want to give up.
For me, it’s taken a year to stop taking job rejections to heart, but it still gets to me. I’ve taken rejection and turned it into a positive self-reflection; seeking out better solutions and acknowledging my worth.
Rejection made me take things into my own hands — it was the push I needed to set my freelance writer services up.
Outlined is how to turn rejection into self-reflection based on my experience of constant job rejections:
React, reflect, realize
Our reaction to rejection is what needs to be worked on — it is crucial in getting over rejection. With a rise in joblessness in millennials and a swamp of mental health issues on top of that to deal with, it’s overbearing. (No wonder we are all suffering?!)
Our minds react with misery when we are rejected. It’s normal, but we can learn to react otherwise. Instead, learn to reflect and find out what you want. Research shows self-reflection makes you happier and more successful.
Do you want to feel down every time you are rejected? No. Otherwise, rejection will swallow you up; it sure did for me. So I decided to put a stop to the way I was reacting to rejection.
I was rushing and reacting angrily instead of realizing and reflecting calmly.
React, reflect and realize what you truly want with rejection and:
Stop taking control
I was sick of it. I wanted to be in control but the world wasn’t letting me! Ever get that feeling? I prayed and read, then took the time to make a mindmap, journal and ask myself questions about where I want to go and why I’m applying for jobs in the first place.
Here are three things you need to accept when rejection arises:
– You can’t control the world (and the people who are picking you for a job) around you.
– You can’t control any outcome, only trust in it.
– You can’t control anything…!
So basically I was trying to take control and I couldn’t — it was getting me down because I wanted freedom (that’s how freelance writing chose me!). I was never aware of how much I struggled with control until rejection kept knocking me down.
OK, I like to go with the flow but I also like to have some idea about where I’m heading, don’t we all? So I took control and started freelance writing. I know it’s going to take time and patience to build up, but I’ve taken rejection and chosen to react with self-reflection so I can become more aligned with my needs.
How will you turn rejection into self-reflection? I used writing, journaling and praying to find my niche and peace. Don’t worry if you can’t yet, but:
Remind yourself it’s okay
Last but not least, you have time and you are OK. For the sake of how much I love making mantras (my main focus when teaching yoga in Berlin!), have a quote or verse you can remind yourself in times of rejection — it’s OK. This is the hard part, I get it.
But the feeling of rejection leads us to feel unworthy. When I’m down and discouraged by rejection, I reach out to my bible or within and remind myself things like:
– There is no need to rush anything. As long as I’m present, all that needs to happen will happen.
– Everything happens for a reason — accept and move on.
– I am OK. A job doesn’t define who I am, but my mission on Earth does; spread peace and joy.
What do these three reminders have in common?
They not only made me realize all I need lies within but encouraged me to keep going and stand tall.
It is hard to get over rejection, but it is possible to turn rejection into self-reflection and realize:
Confidence can work magic
“With realization of one’s own potential and self-confidence in one’s ability, one can build a better world.” — Dalai Lama
So find your strength and remind yourself of it. No matter who, what, or when you are rejected, you have the choice to remind yourself it’s OK then reflect and realize — things will work out.
There are heaps of habits to turn rejection into healthy self-reflection. You don’t have to let rejection dismantle your drive and determination to carry on — if anything, don’t let it pull you down but push you to find bigger, better things because trust me, they are awaiting you!